Thursday, December 08, 2005

BREAKING NEWS: Empress Kidnapped!!!

All of this started with a telegram delivered to Rahaleh earlier this week:

Then there were the email instructions that followed:

From: mister bird
To: Rahaleh
Subject: Abduction Instructions for Dec 8th 4:15AM from ASHBY ST.
Sent: Tuesday, December 6, 2005 1:31 PM

Your abduction is scheduled for the morning of
December 8th (Thursday) at 4:15AM. A vehicle will
pick you up and deposit you at the appropriate
Be well-rested and ready.
You will need to bring all of these items with you:
4 pairs underwear
2 pairs shorts
1 pair sneakers
2-3 pairs pants
1 skirt
1 wind breaker
1 bikini
1 sweatshirt
1 vest
1 PASSPORT*******
Your internet access will be limited for 120 hours.
Plan accordingly. Also bring any paperwork you might
need until Monday.
Respond to this email as confirmation.

As of right now Rahaleh is missing and pressumed enroute to somewhere where they apparently torture you by making you wear bikinis and vests. Wait a minute I understand almost everything else she is supposed to bring, but why a vest? These are some whacked out kidnappers. Before Rahaleh was abducted she sent me these photos of the people she suspects of being involved.

If you see either of these people and they are carrying a Rahaleh sized duffel bag, DO NOT APPAROACH THEM! They are dangerous people, as is anyone who would voluntarily take Rahaleh anywhere for a weekend. We will let you know if any demands are made.


Anonymous said...

wait, so we are supposed to be worried?

or is this that magic place where she is not supposed to lie or something like that?

i'm confused...

DCepticon said...

I know where she is at Jordan. And all will be revealed on Lunes.

Anonymous said...

To Whom it May Concern,

As you may have read in the "empress kidnapped" thread, myself and an accomplice recently abducted Rahaleh Nassri and sequestered her in a remote safehouse. Despite the terrifying photos and stern warnings, our demands for ransom have been flatly ignored. To make matters worse, 36 hours ago Nassri escaped. We are eager to get back on course with our torture and ransom activities but cannot do so until we get Nassri back in our custody. We are posting a reward of %25 of our net ransom earnings for any information leading to her recapture.

Thanks so much in advance,

-Dangerously Frustrated