Wednesday, November 23, 2005

Turkey Pardon

Each year at this time we all take a moment between the yams and pumpkin pie to think of all the things for which we are thankful. It is also the time of year when the President pardons a turkey. Usually the turkey is sent off to the country to live his days in the turkey approximation of heaven on earth. This year's turkey through some contract negotiation between the White House and ABC is being shipped off to Disney World, where it will soon be replacing Michael Eisner on the Disney Board of Directors.

Just imagine if you will readers, the visitors to the Jungle Cruise being greeted not by a crazed hippo but the haunting gobble-gobble as they round the bend in the river in Darkest Orlando. Or perhaps the tiny villagers of It's a Small World being terrorized by a scale sized Rodan like turkey pecking away at the small blond Scandinavians. Operation Enduring Turkey Freedom always brings a small tear to my eye.

I invite any of you kind readers to share either what you are thankful for this year or who in the Rorschach Family you would like to offer a pardon to for past crimes or misdemeanors.

Here is my list of what I am thankful for this year regarding Rorschach Theatre:

1. The warm feeling of success each night as I leave the stage at curtain call, for not having accidentally cut any members of the audience.

2. The secret clause in the Rorschach Company member contract that says company members must marry company members. Remember you said yes Chomko! I have witnesses!

3. Getting to wear a dress every night which is made of synthetic yak hair and instead of absorbing sweat has it bead across its surface like the hood of a just polished Ford Mustang.

4. Getting to work with a group of actors who do not know the meaning of the word fear. Unfortunately they also don't understand the meaning of the words personal space either. Stop stepping on my feet for God's sake!

5. Finally I am most thankful for the fact that Stage Management Team still laughs at the show after having seen it nearly 20 times. I don't even think I am that funny.


Anonymous said...

Greatness oh Greatness, I've seen you perform your scenes many many times, smelled your yak sweat and marauded your personal space. I can say with confidence that you are indeed a very funny man.

(long, long, LONG pause for dramatic effect . . . )

I am thankful for you.

Anonymous said...

Scott and Eric, I think you are both quite hilarious. And high-maintenance. Jeez.

Other things I am thankful for:
the opportunity to throw the rat
being able to braid brent's wig every night
cleaning pink spit/fruit roll-up tounge out of the Lavinia bucket at intermission
and of course pantsless board opping with my stylish cohort

And quite honestly, being involved with this show, which started out as a last minute favor and has turned into one of the most fun, goofy, memorable show experiences of my life thus far.

Happy Turkey Day y'alls


Anonymous said...

Dude, I've seen this show a great deal more than 20 times...

Okay, here goes the "thankful for" list:

-Getting to meet my online friend, Gwen, in person and all of the fun and help that has come along with it...especially pantsless board-op-ing.

-Waking up in a bed with several people and befriending a nun.

-Val, for her, "We need a stage manager" email, for getting me involved in such a fun show with such a great group of people.

-Jessi Burgess.

-The DC asshole who several weeks ago left a gaping hole where my car stereo/ cd player used to be...(okay, not so much).

-That this show continues to be such a good time and that it has done so well.


Anonymous said...

oh man, i'd forgotten about that nun :)
I still have my virgin mary medallion in my purse


Anonymous said...

Happy Thanksgiving folks.

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