Wednesday, April 04, 2007

10 Reasons References is Cooler than Star Wars

References to Salvador Dali Make Me Hot goes into tech this weekend and our first preview is a week away. However this mail box down the street from my office, made me ask the question, why is References cooler than Star Wars?

If you are worried that you are reading a blog written by a geek, you should be worried. If you want to skip past this and wait for more Get to Know Me entries feel free. I have more and will dole them out like crack to the masses in the coming weeks, now that you are hooked on the good stuff. And by the way I find your lack of faith distrubing. Hee, hee!

But I was moved by a muse, in the form of a mail box shaped like R2-D2, and muses are only denied at your own mortal peril. And you know how I hate peril!

1. Unlike a certain Princess, Gaby never kisses her brother. She kisses 3 out of 4 of the male cast members. And she engages in some sexy love making with her husband. But she does not, I repeat, does not kiss her brother.

2. It is a Moon not a space station. Well actually it will be a large man in a white suit not a Moon. But it poses absolutely no threat to the planet of Alderaan. The only person the moon comes close to killing is a 14 year old boy.

3. Our teenage virgin is slightly less whiny than Luke Skywalker.

4. We have talking animals, not robots. Why is this better? Because the animals attempt to seduce each other and no one would want to see R2 and C3-PO trying to get it on.

5. There is very little chance that the audience will be attacked by sand people. Our audiences sometimes travel in straight lines to hide their numbers as well.

6. If Benito shot Greedo first, no ham fisted attempt would be made to alter the original footage to make him less of a bad ass.

7. Fewer ewoks. This is more a safety concern than anything. Ewoks bite and I am pretty sure that they have fleas.

8. No Jar-Jar. I was going to save that one for number 10, but come on you could say that about almost any play.

9. This play to happens Barstow, California. Therefore the need for interstellar travel is eliminated and you can be home in time for the 11 o'clock news.

10. There is no dream sequence in any of the Star Wars. Unless you count when Luke goes into the swamp on Degobah and fights with the peyote induced vision of Darth in Empire. And then cuts off his head to reveal that it is his own head he has cut off. Whoa, talk about foreshadowing!

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