Monday, January 14, 2008

The Fumor Files

Fumor #4

Jenny and Matt Frederick have been persuing one of their life long dreams during Rorschach's Season Delay and are traveling around the country to various sites of where Extra Terrestrials (ETs) have been seen in the last 50 years.

Due to a misunderstanding in her college course catalogue, Jenny confused a class on The Alienation Effect in Theater (from the German Verfremdungseffekt) with a course in Alien Studies in the Spring of 1997. Instead of dropping the class Jenny was captivated by the footage of an actual Alien Autopsy shown on a Fox Television Special hosted by Jonathan Frakes that the professor had illegally taped and showed during the first class. Through no fault of her own and because Jenny thought that the professor was actually teaching about theater of alienation by talking about something no one was really interested in, it took Jenny three more classes to realize that she was actually enrolled in a class studying little grey men in flying saucers. By then it was too late to drop the class and Jenny's love for ETs was established.

Matt on the other hand is pretty sure he has been abducted by aliens. It all stems back to a repressed memory of waking up in corn field in 1983. All he could remember was being taken to a planet covered in forrest with a giant moon in the sky. He was then captured by a tribe of tiny aliens speaking a strange language. The aliens were covered in fur and they had a rather primitive culture. He was taken to their village among the trees and was pretty sure he was going to be eaten, when all of a sudden his friend C3-PO was able to communicate with the tribe. His friend Luke Skywalker then used the force to impress the natives with 3-PO's amazing God-like powers and they were set free. Then the Ewoks joined with Luke, 3-PO, R2, Chewie, the Princess and Matt to defeat the evil Empire. Depsite hours of people trying to explain to him that this was in fact the plot to Star Wars Episode VI: The Return of the Jedi, Matt still maintains that this actually happened to him. He points to a ray gun he received that Christmas and a light saber his brother got as proof.

Jenny and Matt will load up their RV and hit the highways this February. They have plans to hit all the hot spots of UFO activity in the United States and Canada. Stops will include: Area 51, Devils Tower, Roswell, New Mexico, Graceland, Skywalker Ranch and that place in Canada where they had clones of Mudler's sister and they had all those honey bees.

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