Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Naughty and Nice Part Duce

Naughty and Nice! Two words that scare the hell out of most children under the age of 10 in this country. Who is this all seeing tyrant who lives at the North Pole and sets about determining through his network of spy cameras and informants who is Naughty and who is Nice? How can a man who obviously has weight issues make the detrmination on whether you or I have made the correct choices and are therefore worthy of gifts each Christmas? And if he can create this arbitrary list what is to stop us mere mortals from making similar determinations and broadcasting the list to the world? The answer to that question is simple, nothing.

Therefore in the closest thing that we have on this blog to a tradition I offer my picks for Naughty and Nice. Last year some of you took this personally and I would rather you didn't read this. So stop now and move onto the YouTube Video Link I have placed to distract you.

Now for those of you who were not side tracked by the video, I have a brief statement to make about the Naughty portion of this list. Other than several politicians I won't bother to name this year and some evil stuff going on in the Middle East and the Darfur, I am giving you all a pass this year. Yes there has been a lot of stuff going on that really sucks and a certain unwillingness to do the right thing all the time, but this year has been a pretty good one all told. Rorschach has been doing great work and no one has really been added to our enemies list in the last 6 months, so for now all of the private Naughtiness you have been doing has not drawn our attention.

But you are all on notice, if I notice any back sliding from the progress we made in November, America, I am coming after you with a stocking full of coal. And I promise you I will not be leaving it next to your fire place. Think the soap in a sock scene from Full Metal Jacket if you need me to paint you a picture in words.

As for the Nice, well I have to say the kindness shown to Rorschach this year has outweighed the bad by a goodly amount. Some of you are responsible for this and I thank you. For those of you who just left me and Rorschach alone, I thank you for that as well. Take a moment to hug someone and we will call it even.

Enough of the back patting though. Remember if I don't see improvements between now and February, there is possibly a stocking beating in some of your futures.

Happy Holidays!

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