Send In The Monkey Boy!

I may have mentioned that Artistic Partner Lauren Hyland and her long time fellow Steve Carpenter got hitched on Saturday. What I have not gone into is the gory and yes sometimes shocking details of the event itself. Thanks to Marybeth Fritzky's photos, I can show you some of what happened. Strangely enough she has no pictures of either Steve or Lauren.

I want to start out by saying the wedding itself could not have been more perfect. Steve mad a beautiful groom and Lauren was the kind of bride they make long white dresses for. From the sexy lacing up the back of her dress to the kick ass red shoes that carried her on a cloud that day, you could not have found a hotter looking married lady in the place.

After the inimitable Reverend Bill Largess married the kids to one another, Steve and Lauren ran-up the aisle and immediately entered the moon bounce. The moon bounce will play a key role in the disturbing events that filled the remainder of the day.

Of course as is so important at any wedding there was the open bar immediately following, while the bridal party stood for picture after picture, so as you can imagine the friends and family of the bride and groom helped themselves to name brand beverages of all types, before a mighty tasty dinner was served.

It wasn't until after dinner that the troubles began. Some of the older kids; Tim Getman, Eric Messner, Scott McCormick and Randy Baker, decided that the younger kids had been hogging the moon bounce for far too long and that it was now our turn. First Tim went in and then me and then Eric and then Randy. The under 12 crowd would not give up control of the moon bounce. This was perhaps fortunate because some of the older kids may have enjoyed one too many of the afore mentioned beverages for safe and fun bouncing. However the big kids just wouldn't let well enough alone and began to taunt the children inside the moon bounce. The children demanded retribution and revenge and perhaps a little blood for their troubles.

Tim decided he was going to risk it and entered what was now taking on the appearance of a Elementary School Thunder Dome. The children's cries that we send in the Monkey Boy had done their work. As soon as he entered the Moon Bounce of Pain he was assaulted by at least ten young ones under 5 feet tall. They piled on his prone form and began to perform what I can only describe as wrestling inspired poundings onto his back. He worked his way to his feet and they began to body check him again and again. Finally some of us in the crowd began to egg the children on with cries of "The Tall one's stomach is full of sprinkles!" and "Hey kids he just told me he hates Sponge Bob!" He was lucky to get out alive.

The kids however were not done and demanded more victims. Next it was Eric and then me. Each of us bravely entering the pit and coming out with what little dignity we had left. I want to go on record as saying I don't blame the children, I blame society. Specifically the part of Society made up of 20 and 30 somethings who think they can still use a moon bounce.

The rest of the evening was fantastic and I can not tell you how much fun everyone who was there had. I can tell you how much fun I had and the memory of dipping John Horn on the dance floor will be a memory that will always be fresh and green in my heart.

Lauren and Steve thank you for letting us be a part of your special day and from all of us at Rorschach the warmest wishes for what we know will be an extraordinary rest of your lives.