Friday, September 15, 2006

In the Year 2056

Greetings to the people of 2006. I have come from 50 years in the future to tell you of the wonders that await you and your children and your children's children and in some rare cases your children's children's clones.

That is correct I have circumvented all laws forbidding the tampering with the past, other wise knows as the "Doc Brown Laws" to use the primitive media of blogging to tell you of the wonders that await the fans of Rorschach in the future. And while I bring some tidings of great joy, I also present dire warnings.

Having arrived here in a time machine which looks nothing like the one shown above and then realizing it was 2006 and the beginning of the Legenary Season 7 at Rorschach Theater, I immediately headed to a bar to find Scott McCormick slouched over in a booth muttering to himself that it just wasn't fair and that they should never have cancelled Star Trek: Enterprise, I bought him an Orange Whip and told him of my miraculous journey from the future and all of the wonders it would hold for others. I also had to tell him that he however would not be around in 2056 due to an unfortunate accident involving a pair of lawn darts and a particularly stupid bet with one of his nephews. I did however tell him that his brain was transfered into a clone body and that he was now happily living in Boca with a clone of Uma Thurman. He perked up until I told him that the next three Star Trek movies would suck.

Our Orange Whips had arrived and I told him of the fantastic things that were awaiting Rorschach in the next 12 months. The births, the marriages and the long goodbyes. The successes of the shows and the failure of a poorly conceived idea of selling shell fish at the concession stand. Not to give too much away but it is hard to keep raw oysters fresh in a church lobby in July.

Then I told him the good news. This will be Rorschach's most successful season ever. Some might argue that it was season 20 when Scott and Rahaleh appeared in Who's Afraid of Virgina Woolf? and Grady finally got to direct his version of The Wall. But without a doubt the season that most people in the future kicked themselves for not having seen was Season 7.

So as I reboard my time machine and prepare to go into the past to warn the Bush Family about the dangers of lead paint, remember you have been warned!

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

should i be scared for you?

Anonymous said...

ah, yes. season 20.
the season in which Randy, having exhausted the entire canon of asian drama, decides to direct 'The King and I', employing all the company members' offspring as the king's children.

the same show gives Randy his favourite story of all time.... "once i thought i lost my wife for three days, but really, she was just hiding bneath the 97th hoop skirt i made her design.... haha. remember, honey?"

The Trendy Tailor said...

ha ha...when the budgets are $1,000,000...I will design 97 hoop skirts...

DCepticon said...

Thank you ladies and gentleman. Yvette best comment in weeks.